help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
