well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
