I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
