It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
