Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My bed smells like the plague
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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