I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
