I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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