Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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