worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
