I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
