I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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