I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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