I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Farmville is her only friend.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
