found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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