He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
