I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
