I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
