and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
