Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize