you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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