drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
its not stalking. its research.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
