sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
