Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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