You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
