so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
