I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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