i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
