guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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