i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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