My room smells like vodka and shame
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize