Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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