IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
