i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
