Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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