Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
