WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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