I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
