I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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