mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
