don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
