Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
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You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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