VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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