Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
That's intense
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
