I just saw a hot homeless man
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
