lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
