Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
