well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I AM VODKA MAN
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
