All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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