Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
