You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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