so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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