my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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