we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
