So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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