Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
