32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
