I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
