haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
