i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
