I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
