After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize