yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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