I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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