I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize