Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize