You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
